My journey into Dark Fiction

TW: fictional trafficking

More than 10 years ago, I wrote snippets here and there.

Once, I submitted a dense short story during an open call. Another time, I published my first serious romance story on Inkitt. Soon, I began expanding short stories into multi-chaptered ones.

My most welcoming “publish” had been on FB for my colleague. She wanted to support me after hearing about my creative writing ambitions. I gave her a very, very dark snippet about no redemption for a person who survived organ trafficking, due to their cowardice. The spirits came for them.

Now, I recall reading a thriller novel years ago, of a doctor who got caught on a ship anchored in international waters, where harvesting took place. However, I didn’t understand why my colleague’s ask prompted my story. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t something I ever talked about. It just was, something that resounded with readers because of atmosphere.

Then it hit me.

The flash fiction emerged from guilt.

When I worked in Uganda for a few months, my friend had passed away in Kenya. To backtrack, when I first arrived to East Africa, I realized that I had privilege that I didn’t in Canada. It took me awhile to understand it since I didn’t understand colourism and western privilege to the extent I do now.

The guilt had stemmed from not leveraging such inherited means to advocate to bettering the medical system.

Shortly after, I returned to university, focused on academics and a-now-unfulfilling career. I had neglected that creative need that grew everyday. I paid more attention to it in 2024. Since then, I’ve been refining creative writing skills as a hobby. However, that hunger couldn’t be satiated in a leisurely way.

I struggled one evening with the question, ‘so what?’. What was I working towards? Leaving these documents in my hard drive for another decade? Once my ire reached its peak, I began looking at launching my author persona.

Abandoning my green flag romance, I pivoted to something darker.

It was a story focused on a hostage situation and sadistic games. As I developed it, I withheld optimization because I wanted the story to fit neatly into the genres of horror and thriller. The romance element threw me off balance, especially after working on sports-related ethics. My MMCs tended to be members of national athletic teams.

Intentional withholding caused some interesting debates with my network at the time, because what I created reflected my fractured thoughts. The message had been diluted. So upon research, I realized that what I wanted to write was Dark Romance hybrids.

The hybrid arose from the volume of clearer ‘no’s. Billionaire? Not attractive to me, not unless their finances are integral to the plot. Mafia? Hm, the Sopranos gave me an idea of how sociopathic that lifestyle could be, where love is questionable.

To write tropes for the sake of it wasn’t my bread and butter. To stick to only romance wasn’t for me either, nor another genre with some romance. For the stories I put out for consumption, I want them to have foundations of trauma and healing. Most importantly, not in ways that signal green flags.

Oh no, not at all.

Toxicity steeps into the healing process within systems of colonialism and white supremacy, whether it’s strengthening our boundaries and resilience against it, or succumbing to it and harming others, or perhaps something in between. With my lived and professional experience in tech and coaching, it’s clear that healing is never linear.

My experience with dark fiction had the most impact when I underwent a very difficult time in life. Alice by Christina Henry became the unexpected help that I needed to process my circumstances.

Her re-telling of Alice in Wonderland, one my favourite tales, created a dark world of which women trafficking was foundational and Alice navigated it. Perhaps I was drawn to it due to writing a snippet with similar themes. Although I don’t have that lived experience, the narrative brought forward a lot of trauma healing for me. Henry’s depiction of it enclosed me in a space where I could just let go. As a protagonist, Alice’s flaws deepened my immersion, as did her love interest.

Dark fiction from a woman’s gaze offered a deeper understanding that healing had many shades. So, what could I offer from my gaze as a marginalized writer? One who acknowledged and leveraged her privileges? Different things speak to different people, dependent on where they are in life. A simple truth but one we tend to forget, especially these days when online bullying has skyrocketed.

Now, years later, Alice has been a primary influence for my chosen genres: blended dark fiction, romance, and fantasy, starring a diverse cast, especially racialized and queer representation.

The duality of human nature has always fascinated me, as has the shades of gray embedded throughout that duality. My characters undergo circumstances that make them question their mortality–if any–and succumbing to the darkness is the easiest choice.

I hope what I put out to the world helps someone else in the way it has for me. My work won’t be for everyone, and that’s okay.

For those who stick around, thank you ❤